Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

The First 100 Days

Or as I like to say, the longest 100 days of my life so far, since I divorced my first wife anyway.
From The Onion:

• DAY 100: Everything all fixed.

• DAY 99: President Obama is relieved to find out that no one really pays attention to a president's second 100 days in office.

• DAY 98: An ear of corn wakes up in the middle of the night screaming, "Vilsack!!"

.
.
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• DAY 10: Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Donovan wonders if they mean "urban" like "city" or "urban" like "black."

• DAY 9: Impressionist Rich Little sits in a bathrobe on the floor of his one-bedroom apartment trying to figure out how to say "I am not a crook" like Barack Obama.

• DAY 8: Rahm Emanuel's "open door" policy is severely tested by political director Patrick Gaspard's repeated claims that someone is taking Splenda packets from the jar on his desk.

• DAY 7: After figuring out a comprehensive solution for the economic crisis in a dream, President Obama issues an executive order requisitioning a fleet of freight liners and 147,000 tons of eggplant.

• DAY 6: Joe Biden spends the day sitting on a couch in the Oval Office, saying he "just wants to watch."

• DAY 5: Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack spends another day worried that his unanimous confirmation means people have forgotten what a hell-raiser he was as mayor of Mount Pleasant, IA.

• DAY 4: Former treasury secretary Henry Paulson is discovered sleeping next to the boiler in the White House basement.

• DAY 3: Obama takes a few minutes to fill out the change of address card for his Popular Mechanics subscription.

• DAY 2: Suddenly everyone in the Roosevelt Room looks around and realizes: yes, this will be the seating arrangement for the next four years.

• DAY 1: In one of his first acts as president, Obama begins the process of closing down the CIA prisons that he knows about.

Go read the rest if you have some time on your hands. Some of them are sorta funny.



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Idiots

Obama plane photo op startles New Yorkers

At first, people thought it was the work of some terrorist organization. When they found out it was Obamm-bamm's plane, they new for sure.

"Mission Accomplished"


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Score one For The Good Guys And The Constitution!

WOOHOO!!!

Citizens can challenge state, local gun laws

The decision by the way, was 3-0.

Hard to fathom that there are actually 3 intelligent people in San Fran, but I'm sure as hell glad there are.

X-post here:


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Huh?

AP Poll: Americans high on Obama, direction of US

I don't fucking get it. The stock market is in the toilet, the country is in debt up to its ass in debt from the bail-outs, unemployment is the highest it's been since WWII, and the AP says Americans are all fucking lollipops and roses since January 19th?

Either the AP is full of shit or the Americans contributing in the poll are just fucking idiots.


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Neglect

ne·glect (n-glkt)

tr.v. ne·glect·ed, ne·glect·ing, ne·glects

1. To pay little or no attention to; fail to heed; disregard: neglected their warnings.

2. To fail to care for or attend to properly: neglects her appearance.

3. To fail to do or carry out, as through carelessness or oversight: neglected to return the call.

n.

1. The act or an instance of neglecting something.

2. The state of being neglected.

3. Habitual lack of care.

Everyone knows what neglect is. I really didn't need to add the definition at the top of the page there, but what the hell.

Neglect happens all the time. Inattention to detail, procrastination, late payments, not telling someone "Thank you" and so on.
Businesses get you to sign up for an introductory offer with the condition that you must call them after the trial period has ended and cancel the service or you will automatically be billed the regular rate. They hope that you will either like the service and retain it, or just neglect to cancel it, either way they will glean the regular fee after the introductory period has ended.
Cable companies sign you up for the free 3 month trial of the movie channels hoping you will not bother to cancel at the end of the term.
Video rental stores let you rent a movie for a set price for so many days hoping all along that you will be late returning it thereby racking up late fees.
Same with any other company who extends you credit. Mortgages, car loans, credit cards, ... The list goes on. Even though they preach making payments on time to retain a good credit score, they secretly hope you're late so they can collect late fees. Which from having worked at a high risk credit card application center in the past, I know for a fact we made more money on late fees than we did regular fees.

And credit card companies are some of the biggest crooks in the world. They let you sign up for the introductory rate which is a lot of times 0% for ____ months, then sock it to you. They have in their contract - which you accept and are contractually obligated to merely by signing up for their card - the option of raising your rate and charging different fees whenever they want, unless it specifically states otherwise.
They are fucks. But that's the price you pay when you use revolving credit. So what business does the idiot in the White House have meddling in their business? I'm not quite sure. I guess it's just another look good thing prompted by whiney-assed libtards.

Obama to prod credit card firms on fee practices

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But Then, Who's Counting

Sept. 11 planner waterboarded 183 times: report

Bummer. Anyone have a problem with them making it an even 200? Or maybe 400?

Works for me.


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DO IT NOW!!!

If you're not already a member, click the link and get yourself a FREE NRA Membership. We need all the help we can get against Obamm-bamm and his gun subversive gun control methodology.



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1947

Via email:

This really explains a lot about 1947

Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.

However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:

Albert A. Gore, Jr.

Hillary Rodham

John F. Kerry

William J. Clinton

Howard Dean

Nancy Pelosi

Dianne Feinstein

Charles E. Schumer

Barbara Boxer

See what happens when aliens breed with democrats?

I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things
for you.

It did for me.

No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens!

Now you know.

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Why We Protest

Past budget results vice projected results from The Heritage Foundation:

FAIL!!!

From cbsnews.com:



From msnbc.com:



Did you notice that the original photo is credited to the Associated Press?

Two Things

First, about the killing of three pirates to save and American boat captain: Let's give credit where credit is do. The Emperor was the one who, as commander in chief, is responsible for the method and outcome of the situation. He did good and deserves a pat on the back.

Secondly, rumor control is reporting that there might be some libtards at the tea parties tomorrow. This is fine. Even if they are misguided loud-mouthed idiots with no concept of reality, they are still Americans and have the right to peaceably assemble to solicit the government. I plan on ignoring them in the same way I would ignore a barking dog.

Will post pics of the rally tomorrow night.

Smoke Break

I was in line at the corner store yesterday and the woman in front of me ordered a pack of smokes. The clerk ran the pack over the scanner and said, "7.59".

The woman said, "Excuse me?"

"7.59", he said.

"For a pack of smokes???"

She decided not to buy them.

Federal taxes on cigarettes recently went up $1.01 a pack and, somewhat unbelievably, tax on loose tobacco went up over 2000%.

Change you can believe in -- once it hits your wallet.

Constipation Cure

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

"My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and Al Gore"

If that doesn't scare the shit out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice, I'm just doing a public service.



Stolen from C&S

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Pffffffttttttt!

Just So You Know

Once again, paranoid gun grabbers are trying to take away rights:

H.R. 45: Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009

And here's a bunch more detail from Snopes:

In a nutshell, the Blair Holt bill would:

* Prohibit possession of any handguns or any semiautomatic firearms that can accept detachable ammunition-feeding devices (excluding antiques) by anyone who has not been issued a firearm license.

* Require all sales of those types of firearms to go through licensed dealers.

* Direct the Attorney General to establish and run a federal record-of-sale system.

* Require the possessors of firearms to secure them (by secure gun storage or safety devices) when they are kept in locales where children might be capable of gaining access to those firearms.

In order to be issued a firearm license under the provisions of the Blair Holt legislation, applicants would be required to submit the following information to the Attorney General:

1. a current, passport-sized photograph of the applicant that provides a clear, accurate likeness of the applicant

2. the name, address, and date and place of birth of the applicant

3. any other name that the applicant has ever used or by which the applicant has ever been known

4. a clear thumb print of the applicant, which shall be made when, and in the presence of the entity to whom, the application is submitted

5. with respect to each category of person prohibited by Federal law, or by the law of the State of residence of the applicant, from obtaining a firearm, a statement that the individual is not a person prohibited from obtaining a firearm

6. a certification by the applicant that the applicant will keep any firearm owned by the applicant safely stored and out of the possession of persons who have not attained 18 years of age

7. a certificate attesting to the completion at the time of application of a written firearms examination, which shall test the knowledge and ability of the applicant regarding:

* the safe storage of firearms, particularly in the vicinity of persons who have not attained 18 years of age

* the safe handling of firearms

* the use of firearms in the home and the risks associated with such use

* the legal responsibilities of firearms owners, including Federal, State, and local laws relating to requirements for the possession and storage of firearms, and relating to reporting requirements with respect to firearms

* any other subjects, as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate

8. an authorization by the applicant to release to the Attorney General or an authorized representative of the Attorney General any mental health records pertaining to the applicant

9. the date on which the application was submitted

10. the signature of the applicant

I'm sure the bad guys who stole their guns are going to line up to get their firearms license too, right?



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Good Gawd Y'all

The interwebs, television, radio, the whole world in fact - is all abuzz about the totally blasphemous move by Michelle horseface-Jackie-O-wanna-be-bitch Obama. (Name-calling is childish, I know. Fuck off).
Well, so what? She has about as much of a clue as her stupid fucking husband. What else would anyone expect out of her? Courtesy? Protocol? Class? Nuh-uh. Not from her. Not from either of them. And here's the reason why.
So far, it seems they haven't been smart enough to hire anyone anyone who isn't a criminal or tax evader, so why do you think they would ever hire anyone decent enough to instruct them the slightest bit on protocol during that long flight overseas?

They must have forgotten to fill that position.

And I ain't even touching the bullshit about the iPod he gave the queen with her own pictures and his speeches on it.



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This Needs To Go Viral

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Thanks to Jim at parkwayreststop.com

YES WE CAN!!!

Congress passes service bill

... WORK FOR OUR GOVERNMENT! FOR FREE!

Fucking fucknut.

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Good Luck

BORN IN THE USA?
Citizen grand jury indicts Obama
Groups in 20 more states reviewing eligibility claims

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Posted: March 31, 2009
8:35 pm Eastern

By Bob Unruh
© 2009 WorldNetDaily

President Obama has been named in dozens of civil lawsuits alleging he is not eligible to be president, with one man even filing a criminal complaint alleging the commander-in-chief is a fraud, and now a citizen grand jury in Georgia has indicted the sitting president.

The indictment delivered to state and federal prosecutors yesterday is one of the developments in the dispute over Obama's eligibility to be president under the U.S. Constitution's requirement that presidents be "natural born" citizens.

Orly Taitz, a California attorney working on several of the civil actions, also announced she has filed another Quo Warranto case in the District of Columbia, where, she told WND, the statutes acknowledge that procedure.

The Quo Warranto claim essentially calls on Obama to explain by what authority he has assumed the power of the presidency.

[...]

See, these folks are going to go and get my hopes all up, and next thing you know, they turn up missing.
It's a dangerous game they're playing, but I do 'hope' there is a 'change' in the White House.




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