We have preemptively awarded this site a Pulitzer Prize for outstanding journalism in the hope that its content will some day merit one! 

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Via Dave






Monday, December 28, 2009

Stupid Cunt

Napolitano On Failed Terror Attempt: "The System Worked"


Now granted, she did later admit the airport security system failed, but what exactly the fuck was she thinking when she made the original statement?
The dude was able to get bomb fixin's on airplanes passing through security checkpoints in two different airports. Yeah. The system worked real swell, dint it.

After the asshole bomber failed to make his homemade piece of shit blow up, one of the passengers tackled his ass and restrained him long enough for others to chime in and help.

Was this just another "It's all Bush's fault Not my fault" moment or is she just that stupid to spout off before she knows the facts?

Doin' a heck of a job there, Nappy.


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Sunday, December 27, 2009

Stay Classy Baucus


[vis realnewsblog]




Saturday, December 26, 2009

From WXYZ-TV

And a big "well done" goes out to Jasper Schuringa.

video

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Kiss-My-Ass, Harry

The couple that snuck into the Whitehouse.


The couple that snuck into the Whitehouse without any credentials!!!!!


Insurance Company Stock

I've been hearing how insurance company stocks have "sky rocketed" since the House passed it's version of Obamacare. Here's the one-year stock performance of some of the bigger companies that came to mind when I went to investigate the issue. The House passed it's version in November. You decide.








So That's How It's Done!

Congress raises debt ceiling to $12.4 trillion

Like your average credit card, when you've maxed it out you call them up and get the credit limit raised!

Gee whiz. And all this time I was under the impression that once you reached a limit you were done. That's it. No more credit. Wrong! You simply raise the limit!


I guess that money to pay for the healthcare reform has to come from somewhere:
Senate OKs health care measure, reaching milestone




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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The "O"ne Gets To See Santa




Santa: HO-HO-HO!!! Come here and sit on my knee. Have you been a good... Shit. It's you.

T.O.T.U.S.: Hiya Santy! Lemme tell ya what I want for Kwan- er, Christmas!

Santa: So tell me, have you been a good boy this - wait a minute. Let's forget the canned response here. That 'B-' you gave yourself? That was a stretch. Shoulda bee an "F", for Fuckup. And you said it with a straight face. Okay, get on with it. Whaddya want?

T.O.T.U.S.: I want the healthcare bill passed, I want to get the troops out of bumfuck middle east, I want socialism, I want a new set of drapes for the Oval Office, I want eleventy-trillion more dollars ...

Santa: Huh? A new set of drapes?

T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah. Michelle keeps making dresses out of all the fucking drapes and sofa covers in the White House.

Santa: Ah. True dat. I think I can swing that.

T.O.T.U.S.: And what about the rest?

Santa: You mean the same shit you were promising the American people during your presidential campaign?

T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah. All that shit.

Santa: Well how do you expect me to do all that?

T.O.T.U.S.: Pull it out of your ass? Like I would?

Santa: Let's start with the healthcare. You people are ramming that through against the will of the majority of the population. How can you justify that?

T.O.T.U.S.: Fuck 'em. We know more about running this country than they do. They're a bunch of idiots. They don't understand.

Santa: And the troops?

T.O.T.U.S.: Well, see, that shit sounds good on the campaign trail, but the reality is after you learn what's going on over there, you just can't up and leave. See, that's something else the American people don't understand. Fuck 'em.

Santa: The American people think that if we weren't wasting all that money on a war it could be used for healthcare.

T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah, well they're idiots. How many jobs would be lost if we all of a sudden didn't need all those soldiers and contractors? And besides. It's all Bush's fault.

Santa: Bush's fault?

T.O.T.U.S.: Yes. He started the war to get the oil.

Santa: The oil that causes the "Global Warming™"?

T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup.

Santa: What about the eleventy-trillion dollars?

T.O.T.U.S.: Taxes baby. There are too many unemployed people who need money, and there are too many employed people who have too much. They need to share their wealth.

Santa: But if you give away all the extra money you say those people don't need and give free money, healthcare and housing to people who don't make money, why should people continue working and pay for people who don't?

T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup. It's all Bush's fault.

Santa: So then why do you think that the government, who can't seem to run a decent delivery service - keep it from going broke, or veteran's administration healthcare service - keep it from going broke, or a social security system - keep it from going broke, would be good at running a public/socialized healhcare system?

T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup. It's Bush's fault.

Santa: You know what, you're a liar and a cheat. You're getting a lump of coal in your stocking. That's it!

T.O.T.U.S.: B-b-but the carbon! The pollution! The EPA!

Santa: Next.

T.O.T.U.S.: B-b-but Santa!

Santa: NEXT!

T.O.T.U.S.: Bush's fault I tell you!

Santa: NEEEEEXT!!!



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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Science Is Settled


Again...

Monday, December 21, 2009

Fucking Fucks

U.S. health bill passes crucial Senate test

What. The. Fuck. The idiots in Washington seem know better than me where my paycheck should be distributed.




Pic stolen from here.


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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Evidently, We're Made Of Money

Clinton: US would help raise billions on climate

Billions to banks, billions to the auto industry, ObamaReidKennedyCare, Economic Stimulus, and now this?

Just how much more does the people who are supposed to be representing us think the American people can divvy up for fuck's sake?



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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Makes Me Wonder

I'd like to pose a question to the self-righteous fucktards 'representing' us, our senators. They obviously don't represent us since they're ramrodding shit through the White House against popular opinion, but I digress.
This is a question about ObamaReidKennedyCare.

Let's say "Hoover" the crack whore gets knocked up and now wants an abortion.
She has been a regular user of all sorts of chemicals for years, including booze, illicit narcotics, and Salem Menthols. The odds that this woman will calf out any semblance of a normal, healthy child are what, the same as Obamm-bamm sucking Dubya's dick?

If by chance that kid does make it full term without ending up in the toilet first, it will probably come out as some brain-dead, deformed mass of flesh that has absolutely no chance of self-sufficiency let alone survival, for more than a few days or maybe even a few minutes.

The bitch is on welfare, has been for years, so she damn well doesn't have any private insurance, nor will she, so she will be one of the many "poor, unemployed, helpless, downtrodden, held back by The Man, blah blah blah" enrollees of ObamaReidKennedyCare.

So my question is, would it be so bad or wrong for ObamaReidKennedyCare to pay for Hoover's abortion? Should they just deny it and let her give birth to another senator?





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Constipation


[via email]





Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Unhappy Marionette






Friday, December 11, 2009

From The 'No Shit' Files

Has Southern Nevada seen any stimulus jobs?

This Southern Nevada and Clark County to which they refer to includes Las Vegas, Henderson, Mesquite, Laughlin, as well as a few other little piss-ant towns scattered around the desert. They all add up to a population of around 1.9 million according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Southern Nevada has about 13% unemployment, which add up to around 247,000 people. So 250 jobs for 247,000 people.
Nice. That ends up being .1% (1 tenth of one percent!) of all the unemployed people here now have a job since $60,000,000 came our way.

$240,000 each, for a job that will last 6 weeks to 1 year. That's an expensive fucking employee.

I can't decide if our portion is considered a drop in the bucket or a whole lotta feel good hot air coming from the idiots in Washington. I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say "both".





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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Nobel Is only The Beginning

Okay, so the fuckhead was awarded his undeserved, politically motivated Nobel prize today.

What's next?




(Click to activate embiggenation.)

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Exactly

Why they fell for the global warming hoax

They called us Global Warming Holocaust Deniers — sneered at us, snarked at us, and snubbed us.

None of them bothered to read “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

I have no time for paybacks or saying I told you so.

But pay attention to why they fell for this billion-dollar hoax which almost became a trillion-dollar tragedy.

1. The pseudo-intellectuals fell for it because none of them ever cracked a science book.
2. The policy wonks fell for it because it gave the government more control.
3. The bleeding hearts fell for it because they always want to save the Earth.
4. The communists fell for it because it portrayed capitalists as destroying the Earth to make money.
5. The capitalists fell for it because they saw a new way to make money.
6. The Hollywood crowd fell for it because it made their pampered lives seem to have a meaning and purpose.
7. The newspapers fell for it because it was new.
8. The teachers fell for it because it was a new thing to teach the children to teach their parents.
9. The children fell for it because they wanted to show how well they are doing in school.
10. The parents fell for it because they wanted their children were doing so well in school and they wanted to be supportive.
11. The utility companies fell or it because they can raise rates.
12. The Nobel Peace Prize committee fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
13. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
14. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (Grammys) fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
15. The 30,000 scientists fell for it because while it was not in their field of study, they wanted to be supportive of science.

The only people who didn’t fall for it were we mouth-breathing, Bible-thumping, beer-guzzling, cousin-humping, baby-bumping, overfed, inbred, illiterate, gun-clinging, buck-toothed, trailer-park-living, truck-driving, ATV riding, Wal-mart shopping, knuckle-dragging, military-supporting, ain’t-recycling, patriotic, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, racist hillbillies with cooties.

Tip o' the lid to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical²

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Phunny

A Classic:
"If you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Obama [woops, Freudian slip there] Osama Bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and Bin Laden would be strangled to death."


Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Deja Vu All Over Again?

On health care, Reid likens GOP to civil rights foes

Is Reid a racist or is he just fucking stupid?

Well, I know he's fucking stupid, but way to go Reid. Use every chance you can muster to get that "Race Card™" on the table.

Oh yes, and let's throw the Women's Rights issue on the pile too.

Good gawd-a-mighty. I'm surprised he didn't throw some sort of "The Children", "Global Warming" and amputee sex issue in there too.




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Truly Over The Top






Friday, December 04, 2009

Global Warming


Or not!




Brilliant





Job Summit





Thursday, December 03, 2009

Let's See Here

Obamm-bamm says that even though he's sending 30,000 more troops to Bumfukistan, he'll start bringing them back July of 2011.
How convenient. Isn't that about the same time he'll be running for re-election?





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Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Phunny


[Via email]

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.


Tuesday, December 01, 2009

No Shot For You!

This is too gawddam important. The word needs to spread. And even though I am but a tiny zit on the ass of the blog world, my blog voice shall utter these uh, ... utterances:

HHS would become federal giant under Senate plan


And on and on...

See, one of the things the fuckheads in the senate are trying to do here is not necessarily implement any real changes, but rather not implement any changes, then endow the power upon yet another fucking czar granting them unlimited authority by virtue of congressional approval.

So yes. Taxes will increase for everyone. And I mean every-fucking-one, not just "The Rich™". We'll see it in higher prices for goods and services even if it isn't a particular line item on the pay stub.
Rates will increase for already already covered individuals, while coverage will decrease.
Uninsured will have minimal coverage, but their lifestyle as well as medical treatments will be dictated by the Death Czar.

This fucked up shit is being steamrolled up our asses by politicians who have more interest in furthering their careers than they do in their constituents desires and everyone is going to pay dearly.





x-post on the other blog

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now That's Funny

Pres. Obama's aunt anguished by family separation

I got news for there, woman. So's your nephew.
Well, he may be living here legally now, but he's living in public housing, and he's more than likely illegally holding the office.


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Rhetorical Headline


From Hotair.com: Will Washington shooting damage Huckabee bid?

Answer: Yes. In fact it will end his political career. Everyone makes mistakes but this one was a doosey. I though, until today, he had a real chance of being the next POTUS. He presents well, seems (or seemed) to have his head on straight, and has a pleasant persona but as of this morning he's just another ignorant politician.

Oh well.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Conservative Purity Test



For the record, this registered voter agrees 100% with this directive.

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;
(2) We support market-based health-care reform and oppose Obama-style government-run health care;
(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;
(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check;
(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;
(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;
(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;
(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;
(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health-care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and
(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership; and be further

RESOLVED, that a candidate who disagrees with three or more of the above stated public-policy positions of the Republican National Committee, as identified by the voting record, public statements and/or signed questionnaire of the candidate, shall not be eligible for financial support and endorsement by the Republican National Committee.



Climategate


Enjoy!




Interesting

How Yahoo news has these two pictures side by side:




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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Fuck You Both

The Cunt Sen. Landrieu to host New Orleans fundraiser for Cocksucking Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid

Our tax dollars at work as bribe money once again.

Now that's news we can use. You can rest assured I won't be voting for that fucker.

Only an idiot would believe that statement.

We all know damn good and well which way she'll vote. She sold her soul to the democrat party just as the fucker Reid did.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Mary Landrieu





Thursday, November 19, 2009

It Would Be Just Swell



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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Good Question


I'm getting better at Gimp!




So True





Holder's Not An Idiot


What is the justice department really doing? Trying to grab power from the military.




Tuesday, November 17, 2009

FPOTUS





Yeah. That's The Ticket

AP POLL: Tax the rich to pay for health bill
Yeah. Sure. That's the thing to do. Place an even larger burden on the people who provide income and jobs to the rest of the country.
That way, businesses can raise prices, have layoffs and give even more people lower salaries and put more people in the lower income ranges! Everything can be free for everyone! WOOHOO!

Stupid fucks. Get a clue.


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Monday, November 16, 2009

"Obama says al Qaeda still greatest threat to U.S."
Sorry sport, YOU'RE the greatest threat to the U.S.

I know. Mr. Obvious to some, Mr. Cynical gun-toting give-him-a-chance-to-fix-Bush's-fuck-ups right-winger to others.

To the rest of the world? He may as well suck the cock of every foreign envoy he meets. It's the message he imparts.




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Saturday, November 14, 2009

Stop It!


Oh, for the love of...




Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Found A New Website


Where you can create your very own Obamacon like this one:




From The 'No Shit' Files

Duh:
AARP puts 'political self-interests' above members
No surprise that. Oldsters have been dropping like flies since the bogus "Town Hall" meetings. 
Gee. Ya' think?






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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Actually, I can say that.


Daley explains that people don't kill people, guns kill people. And the Fort Hood murders are your fault.

 


Sunday, November 08, 2009

Cunt


Fuck the people. Fuck them hard with a healthcare dildo and smile about it.





Friday, November 06, 2009

Mission Accomplished!

So according to Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke The Recession Is Over. So why then is it that:
Jobless rate tops 10 pct. for first time since '83

[My emphasis]

Fewer unemployment claims one month compared to a prior month still means more unemployment claims than jobs.

Fuck me.

Did anyone see the series premiere of "V" a couple nights ago? Notice the resemblance to the Nazi rise in power and - call me a nut, paranoid, whatever you will - the current administration? I certainly did.

All smiles and so-called good will, but at what cost?

Just remember this: The government is not a stand-alone, self-sufficient entity. It doesn't physically produce anything. It cannot give you anything that it hasn't taken from someone else.

Hell yeah! Let's pass the cap-and-tax bill so we can effectively double the cost of living too!

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What's worse than stealing from a 9-year old on her birthday?





Thursday, November 05, 2009

Dudes, This Is Getting Old Too


The MSM's monthly spin on unemployment numbers for October:



Only 512,000 more people who ran shit out of luck last month. Unemployment was already at a seasonally-adjusted 9.8% in September [source: bls.gov/cps].

Update 11/6/2009 @ 8AM MST: This morning BLS is reporting a 10.2% unemployment rate


Dude, It's Getting Old





World Series

Why would I be making a post about the World Series here? Easy. Because the T.O.T.U.S. called the Yanks after the game to congratulate them on being the 'Grand Champions of the Entire Universe!!!'.
Well, he may not have said that, but I'm sure it was implied.

Actually, I'm guessing the main reason he called was to have the Yankees not be so selfish and share their title.

EVen More On Obamacare










Monday, November 02, 2009

Here We Go Again

Yeah, I know. Another illegal alien post. But think about it:
  • If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
  • If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
  • If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
  • If you cross the Aaudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
  • If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.
  • If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
  • If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.
  • If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a drivers license, social security card, welfare, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house, free education, free health care, a lobbyist in Washington and in many instances you can vote.


Hat tip Delftsman.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

And He Spake...


[hat tip to IN A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD]




Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Care For A Little Bullshit With Your Waffle?

From ABC News:
Sources tell ABC News that as of now President Obama will likely announce his decision about a new strategy in Afghanistan at some point between the Afghan run-off election, November 7, and the president’s departure for Tokyo, Japan, on Wednesday, November 11.

There is a chance the announcement may be delayed until the president’s return from the Asia trip on Friday, November 20, but as of now the plan is to have the announcement in that window.
[...]
Will likely? At some point? There is a chance?

Good gawd. This sounds like Cox Cable scheduling a repair a week from Saturday sometime between 10 and 4 o'clock.

Flakey fuck.

If he would only take the war as seriously as he does socialized medicine...



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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Phunny


[found on Fark]