Why Ya Gotta Be So Mean Ta Me!

Where was I while my husband was raping Juanita Broaddrick and groping Kathleen Willey, at the moment her husband was committing suicide?
Why did she have to say those mean things?

I didn't know that was going on! I didn't even know my husband was getting his dick sucked in the White House either! Does she expect me to know where my husband is all the time? What he's doing every minute of the day?

I'm hurt. I really do have a crush on Ann. I know, I know. I may be poking my head out of a closet here, but I really think I love her. But then she goes and says thing like that?

It's just not fair!