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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Exactly

Why they fell for the global warming hoax

They called us Global Warming Holocaust Deniers — sneered at us, snarked at us, and snubbed us.

None of them bothered to read “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

I have no time for paybacks or saying I told you so.

But pay attention to why they fell for this billion-dollar hoax which almost became a trillion-dollar tragedy.

1. The pseudo-intellectuals fell for it because none of them ever cracked a science book.
2. The policy wonks fell for it because it gave the government more control.
3. The bleeding hearts fell for it because they always want to save the Earth.
4. The communists fell for it because it portrayed capitalists as destroying the Earth to make money.
5. The capitalists fell for it because they saw a new way to make money.
6. The Hollywood crowd fell for it because it made their pampered lives seem to have a meaning and purpose.
7. The newspapers fell for it because it was new.
8. The teachers fell for it because it was a new thing to teach the children to teach their parents.
9. The children fell for it because they wanted to show how well they are doing in school.
10. The parents fell for it because they wanted their children were doing so well in school and they wanted to be supportive.
11. The utility companies fell or it because they can raise rates.
12. The Nobel Peace Prize committee fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
13. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
14. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (Grammys) fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
15. The 30,000 scientists fell for it because while it was not in their field of study, they wanted to be supportive of science.

The only people who didn’t fall for it were we mouth-breathing, Bible-thumping, beer-guzzling, cousin-humping, baby-bumping, overfed, inbred, illiterate, gun-clinging, buck-toothed, trailer-park-living, truck-driving, ATV riding, Wal-mart shopping, knuckle-dragging, military-supporting, ain’t-recycling, patriotic, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, racist hillbillies with cooties.

Tip o' the lid to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical²

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