Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Stupid Cunt
Napolitano On Failed Terror Attempt: "The System Worked"Now granted, she did later admit the airport security system failed, but what exactly the fuck was she thinking when she made the original statement?
The dude was able to get bomb fixin's on airplanes passing through security checkpoints in two different airports. Yeah. The system worked real swell, dint it.
After the asshole bomber failed to make his homemade piece of shit blow up, one of the passengers tackled his ass and restrained him long enough for others to chime in and help.
Was this just another "
Doin' a heck of a job there, Nappy.
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Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Insurance Company Stock
So That's How It's Done!
Congress raises debt ceiling to $12.4 trillionLike your average credit card, when you've maxed it out you call them up and get the credit limit raised!
Gee whiz. And all this time I was under the impression that once you reached a limit you were done. That's it. No more credit. Wrong! You simply raise the limit!
I guess that money to pay for the healthcare reform has to come from somewhere:
Senate OKs health care measure, reaching milestone
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Wednesday, December 23, 2009
The "O"ne Gets To See Santa
Santa: HO-HO-HO!!! Come here and sit on my knee. Have you been a good... Shit. It's you.
T.O.T.U.S.: Hiya Santy! Lemme tell ya what I want for Kwan- er, Christmas!
Santa: So tell me, have you been a good boy this - wait a minute. Let's forget the canned response here. That 'B-' you gave yourself? That was a stretch. Shoulda bee an "F", for Fuckup. And you said it with a straight face. Okay, get on with it. Whaddya want?
T.O.T.U.S.: I want the healthcare bill passed, I want to get the troops out of bumfuck middle east, I want socialism, I want a new set of drapes for the Oval Office, I want eleventy-trillion more dollars ...
Santa: Huh? A new set of drapes?
T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah. Michelle keeps making dresses out of all the fucking drapes and sofa covers in the White House.
Santa: Ah. True dat. I think I can swing that.
T.O.T.U.S.: And what about the rest?
Santa: You mean the same shit you were promising the American people during your presidential campaign?
T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah. All that shit.
Santa: Well how do you expect me to do all that?
T.O.T.U.S.: Pull it out of your ass? Like I would?
Santa: Let's start with the healthcare. You people are ramming that through against the will of the majority of the population. How can you justify that?
T.O.T.U.S.: Fuck 'em. We know more about running this country than they do. They're a bunch of idiots. They don't understand.
Santa: And the troops?
T.O.T.U.S.: Well, see, that shit sounds good on the campaign trail, but the reality is after you learn what's going on over there, you just can't up and leave. See, that's something else the American people don't understand. Fuck 'em.
Santa: The American people think that if we weren't wasting all that money on a war it could be used for healthcare.
T.O.T.U.S.: Yeah, well they're idiots. How many jobs would be lost if we all of a sudden didn't need all those soldiers and contractors? And besides. It's all Bush's fault.
Santa: Bush's fault?
T.O.T.U.S.: Yes. He started the war to get the oil.
Santa: The oil that causes the "Global Warming™"?
T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup.
Santa: What about the eleventy-trillion dollars?
T.O.T.U.S.: Taxes baby. There are too many unemployed people who need money, and there are too many employed people who have too much. They need to share their wealth.
Santa: But if you give away all the extra money you say those people don't need and give free money, healthcare and housing to people who don't make money, why should people continue working and pay for people who don't?
T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup. It's all Bush's fault.
Santa: So then why do you think that the government, who can't seem to run a decent delivery service - keep it from going broke, or veteran's administration healthcare service - keep it from going broke, or a social security system - keep it from going broke, would be good at running a public/socialized healhcare system?
T.O.T.U.S.: Shuddup. It's Bush's fault.
Santa: You know what, you're a liar and a cheat. You're getting a lump of coal in your stocking. That's it!
T.O.T.U.S.: B-b-but the carbon! The pollution! The EPA!
Santa: Next.
T.O.T.U.S.: B-b-but Santa!
Santa: NEXT!
T.O.T.U.S.: Bush's fault I tell you!
Santa: NEEEEEXT!!!
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Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Fucking Fucks
U.S. health bill passes crucial Senate testWhat. The. Fuck. The idiots in Washington seem know better than me where my paycheck should be distributed.
Pic stolen from here.
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
Evidently, We're Made Of Money
Clinton: US would help raise billions on climateBillions to banks, billions to the auto industry, ObamaReidKennedyCare, Economic Stimulus, and now this?
Just how much more does the people who are supposed to be representing us think the American people can divvy up for fuck's sake?
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Makes Me Wonder
I'd like to pose a question to the self-righteous fucktards 'representing' us, our senators. They obviously don't represent us since they're ramrodding shit through the White House against popular opinion, but I digress.
This is a question about ObamaReidKennedyCare.
Let's say "Hoover" the crack whore gets knocked up and now wants an abortion.
She has been a regular user of all sorts of chemicals for years, including booze, illicit narcotics, and Salem Menthols. The odds that this woman will calf out any semblance of a normal, healthy child are what, the same as Obamm-bamm sucking Dubya's dick?
If by chance that kid does make it full term without ending up in the toilet first, it will probably come out as some brain-dead, deformed mass of flesh that has absolutely no chance of self-sufficiency let alone survival, for more than a few days or maybe even a few minutes.
The bitch is on welfare, has been for years, so she damn well doesn't have any private insurance, nor will she, so she will be one of the many "poor, unemployed, helpless, downtrodden, held back by The Man, blah blah blah" enrollees of ObamaReidKennedyCare.
So my question is, would it be so bad or wrong for ObamaReidKennedyCare to pay for Hoover's abortion? Should they just deny it and let her give birth to another senator?
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This is a question about ObamaReidKennedyCare.
Let's say "Hoover" the crack whore gets knocked up and now wants an abortion.
She has been a regular user of all sorts of chemicals for years, including booze, illicit narcotics, and Salem Menthols. The odds that this woman will calf out any semblance of a normal, healthy child are what, the same as Obamm-bamm sucking Dubya's dick?
If by chance that kid does make it full term without ending up in the toilet first, it will probably come out as some brain-dead, deformed mass of flesh that has absolutely no chance of self-sufficiency let alone survival, for more than a few days or maybe even a few minutes.
The bitch is on welfare, has been for years, so she damn well doesn't have any private insurance, nor will she, so she will be one of the many "poor, unemployed, helpless, downtrodden, held back by The Man, blah blah blah" enrollees of ObamaReidKennedyCare.
So my question is, would it be so bad or wrong for ObamaReidKennedyCare to pay for Hoover's abortion? Should they just deny it and let her give birth to another senator?
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Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
From The 'No Shit' Files
Has Southern Nevada seen any stimulus jobs?This Southern Nevada and Clark County to which they refer to includes Las Vegas, Henderson, Mesquite, Laughlin, as well as a few other little piss-ant towns scattered around the desert. They all add up to a population of around 1.9 million according to the U.S. Census Bureau.
Southern Nevada has about 13% unemployment, which add up to around 247,000 people. So 250 jobs for 247,000 people.
Nice. That ends up being .1% (1 tenth of one percent!) of all the unemployed people here now have a job since $60,000,000 came our way.
$240,000 each, for a job that will last 6 weeks to 1 year. That's an expensive fucking employee.
I can't decide if our portion is considered a drop in the bucket or a whole lotta feel good hot air coming from the idiots in Washington. I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say "both".
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Thursday, December 10, 2009
Nobel Is only The Beginning
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Exactly
Why they fell for the global warming hoax
They called us Global Warming Holocaust Deniers — sneered at us, snarked at us, and snubbed us.
None of them bothered to read “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”
I have no time for paybacks or saying I told you so.
But pay attention to why they fell for this billion-dollar hoax which almost became a trillion-dollar tragedy.
1. The pseudo-intellectuals fell for it because none of them ever cracked a science book.
2. The policy wonks fell for it because it gave the government more control.
3. The bleeding hearts fell for it because they always want to save the Earth.
4. The communists fell for it because it portrayed capitalists as destroying the Earth to make money.
5. The capitalists fell for it because they saw a new way to make money.
6. The Hollywood crowd fell for it because it made their pampered lives seem to have a meaning and purpose.
7. The newspapers fell for it because it was new.
8. The teachers fell for it because it was a new thing to teach the children to teach their parents.
9. The children fell for it because they wanted to show how well they are doing in school.
10. The parents fell for it because they wanted their children were doing so well in school and they wanted to be supportive.
11. The utility companies fell or it because they can raise rates.
12. The Nobel Peace Prize committee fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
13. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
14. The National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (Grammys) fell for it because Al Gore should have won in 2000.
15. The 30,000 scientists fell for it because while it was not in their field of study, they wanted to be supportive of science.
The only people who didn’t fall for it were we mouth-breathing, Bible-thumping, beer-guzzling, cousin-humping, baby-bumping, overfed, inbred, illiterate, gun-clinging, buck-toothed, trailer-park-living, truck-driving, ATV riding, Wal-mart shopping, knuckle-dragging, military-supporting, ain’t-recycling, patriotic, homophobic, xenophobic, sexist, racist hillbillies with cooties.
Tip o' the lid to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical²
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Phunny
A Classic:
"If you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid andObama[woops, Freudian slip there] Osama Bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and Bin Laden would be strangled to death."
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Deja Vu All Over Again?
On health care, Reid likens GOP to civil rights foesIs Reid a racist or is he just fucking stupid?
Well, I know he's fucking stupid, but way to go Reid. Use every chance you can muster to get that "Race Card™" on the table.
Oh yes, and let's throw the Women's Rights issue on the pile too.
Good gawd-a-mighty. I'm surprised he didn't throw some sort of "The Children", "Global Warming" and amputee sex issue in there too.
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Friday, December 04, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Let's See Here
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Phunny
[Via email]
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
No Shot For You!
This is too gawddam important. The word needs to spread. And even though I am but a tiny zit on the ass of the blog world, my blog voice shall utter these uh, ... utterances:
See, one of the things the fuckheads in the senate are trying to do here is not necessarily implement any real changes, but rather not implement any changes, then endow the power upon yet another fucking czar granting them unlimited authority by virtue of congressional approval.
So yes. Taxes will increase for everyone. And I mean every-fucking-one, not just "The Rich™". We'll see it in higher prices for goods and services even if it isn't a particular line item on the pay stub.
Rates will increase for already already covered individuals, while coverage will decrease.
Uninsured will have minimal coverage, but their lifestyle as well as medical treatments will be dictated by the Death Czar.
This fucked up shit is being steamrolled up our asses by politicians who have more interest in furthering their careers than they do in their constituents desires and everyone is going to pay dearly.
x-post on the other blog
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And on and on...
HHS would become federal giant under Senate plan
See, one of the things the fuckheads in the senate are trying to do here is not necessarily implement any real changes, but rather not implement any changes, then endow the power upon yet another fucking czar granting them unlimited authority by virtue of congressional approval.
So yes. Taxes will increase for everyone. And I mean every-fucking-one, not just "The Rich™". We'll see it in higher prices for goods and services even if it isn't a particular line item on the pay stub.
Rates will increase for already already covered individuals, while coverage will decrease.
Uninsured will have minimal coverage, but their lifestyle as well as medical treatments will be dictated by the Death Czar.
This fucked up shit is being steamrolled up our asses by politicians who have more interest in furthering their careers than they do in their constituents desires and everyone is going to pay dearly.
x-post on the other blog
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Now That's Funny
Pres. Obama's aunt anguished by family separationI got news for there, woman. So's your nephew.
Well, he may be living here legally now, but he's living in public housing, and he's more than likely illegally holding the office.
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Rhetorical Headline
From Hotair.com: Will Washington shooting damage Huckabee bid?
Answer: Yes. In fact it will end his political career. Everyone makes mistakes but this one was a doosey. I though, until today, he had a real chance of being the next POTUS. He presents well, seems (or seemed) to have his head on straight, and has a pleasant persona but as of this morning he's just another ignorant politician.
Oh well.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Conservative Purity Test
For the record, this registered voter agrees 100% with this directive.
(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;
(2) We support market-based health-care reform and oppose Obama-style government-run health care;
(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation;
(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check;
(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants;
(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges;
(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat;
(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act;
(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health-care rationing and denial of health care and government funding of abortion; and
(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership; and be further
RESOLVED, that a candidate who disagrees with three or more of the above stated public-policy positions of the Republican National Committee, as identified by the voting record, public statements and/or signed questionnaire of the candidate, shall not be eligible for financial support and endorsement by the Republican National Committee.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Holder's Not An Idiot
What is the justice department really doing? Trying to grab power from the military.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Yeah. That's The Ticket
AP POLL: Tax the rich to pay for health billYeah. Sure. That's the thing to do. Place an even larger burden on the people who provide income and jobs to the rest of the country.
That way, businesses can raise prices, have layoffs and give even more people lower salaries and put more people in the lower income ranges! Everything can be free for everyone! WOOHOO!
Stupid fucks. Get a clue.
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Monday, November 16, 2009
"Obama says al Qaeda still greatest threat to U.S."Sorry sport, YOU'RE the greatest threat to the U.S.
I know. Mr. Obvious to some, Mr. Cynical gun-toting give-him-a-chance-to-fix-Bush's-fuck-ups right-winger to others.
To the rest of the world? He may as well suck the cock of every foreign envoy he meets. It's the message he imparts.
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
From The 'No Shit' Files
Duh:
Gee. Ya' think?
AARP puts 'political self-interests' above membersNo surprise that. Oldsters have been dropping like flies since the bogus "Town Hall" meetings.
Gee. Ya' think?
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Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Actually, I can say that.
Daley explains that people don't kill people, guns kill people. And the Fort Hood murders are your fault.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Mission Accomplished!
So according to Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke The Recession Is Over. So why then is it that:
Fewer unemployment claims one month compared to a prior month still means more unemployment claims than jobs.
Fuck me.
Did anyone see the series premiere of "V" a couple nights ago? Notice the resemblance to the Nazi rise in power and - call me a nut, paranoid, whatever you will - the current administration? I certainly did.
All smiles and so-called good will, but at what cost?
Just remember this: The government is not a stand-alone, self-sufficient entity. It doesn't physically produce anything. It cannot give you anything that it hasn't taken from someone else.
Hell yeah! Let's pass the cap-and-tax bill so we can effectively double the cost of living too!
Jobless rate tops 10 pct. for first time since '83[My emphasis]
Fewer unemployment claims one month compared to a prior month still means more unemployment claims than jobs.
Fuck me.
Did anyone see the series premiere of "V" a couple nights ago? Notice the resemblance to the Nazi rise in power and - call me a nut, paranoid, whatever you will - the current administration? I certainly did.
All smiles and so-called good will, but at what cost?
Just remember this: The government is not a stand-alone, self-sufficient entity. It doesn't physically produce anything. It cannot give you anything that it hasn't taken from someone else.
Hell yeah! Let's pass the cap-and-tax bill so we can effectively double the cost of living too!
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Thursday, November 05, 2009
Dudes, This Is Getting Old Too
World Series
Why would I be making a post about the World Series here? Easy. Because the T.O.T.U.S. called the Yanks after the game to congratulate them on being the 'Grand Champions of the Entire Universe!!!'.
Well, he may not have said that, but I'm sure it was implied.
Actually, I'm guessing the main reason he called was to have the Yankees not be so selfish and share their title.
Well, he may not have said that, but I'm sure it was implied.
Actually, I'm guessing the main reason he called was to have the Yankees not be so selfish and share their title.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Here We Go Again
Yeah, I know. Another illegal alien post. But think about it:
Hat tip Delftsman.
- If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.
- If you cross the Iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.
- If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.
- If you cross the Aaudi Arabian border illegally you will be jailed.
- If you cross the Chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again.
- If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.
- If you cross the Cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.
- If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a drivers license, social security card, welfare, food stamps, credit cards, subsidized rent or a loan to buy a house, free education, free health care, a lobbyist in Washington and in many instances you can vote.
Hat tip Delftsman.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Care For A Little Bullshit With Your Waffle?
From ABC News:
Good gawd. This sounds like Cox Cable scheduling a repair a week from Saturday sometime between 10 and 4 o'clock.
Flakey fuck.
If he would only take the war as seriously as he does socialized medicine...
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Sources tell ABC News that as of now President Obama will likely announce his decision about a new strategy in Afghanistan at some point between the Afghan run-off election, November 7, and the president’s departure for Tokyo, Japan, on Wednesday, November 11.Will likely? At some point? There is a chance?
There is a chance the announcement may be delayed until the president’s return from the Asia trip on Friday, November 20, but as of now the plan is to have the announcement in that window.
[...]
Good gawd. This sounds like Cox Cable scheduling a repair a week from Saturday sometime between 10 and 4 o'clock.
Flakey fuck.
If he would only take the war as seriously as he does socialized medicine...
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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